If you’ve been following, you know that three months ago I had a total abdominal hysterectomy to deal with Stage IV endometriosis and complex ovarian cysts. Yesterday, exactly three months post-surgery, I met with my amazing doctor to review the results of my first menopausal blood panel… in other words, to find out where my hormone levels are at after taking out the big players.
It’s kind of like looking at crime rates after knocking off a city’s biggest mobsters.
The results? I’d been placing all the blame on my ovaries… now I find out my thyroid and adrenals have been failing me. Besides low T3 (that’s a thyroid hormone), and low progesterone (we knew that), and low Vitamin D (no surprise there, either), I have no testosterone. NONE. As in, my numbers barely registered.
Does that just mean I’m “all girl”? Seriously, if you know me, you know I’m not all that girly. What it means is that my hormones are out of whack. The symptoms of low testosterone in women include, among other things, fatigue, anxiety, increased belly fat, depression, etc. Yeah. No fun.
On a layman’s level, as dear hubby put it, I used up all the “fight” in my “fight or flight response” years ago, leaving me with nothing but “flight.” Yep. RUN AWAY, like a chubby little bunny.
Testosterone is traditionally considered a man’s hormone, and one with which I am distressingly familiar, thanks to the abundance of Y chromosome carriers in my household. Perhaps my adrenals shut down their testosterone production because I’ve been living with testosterone overload for years!
Anyway, according to Dr. Oz, I can naturally increase my testosterone levels by assuming the following pose for at least two minutes every day.
- Stand in the “Wonder Woman” position – Stand with your legs shoulder width apart, hands on your hips and shoulders back. This gives you a feeling of power, which then tricks the body into releasing more testosterone. Assume the position for 2 minutes a day to boost your testosterone by 20%!
Really? I’m totally willing to try out the Wonder Woman pose, but 20% of next-to-nothing is probably not gonna be enough, so I’ll be adding bioidentical testosterone therapy to my regimen shortly, among a cocktail of other hormones and vitamins and herbs. If it’s too much, I’ll be joining oldest son at the Freak Show in the role of the bearded lady. Ah well, it’s no-shave-November, so this is the perfect month to test it out.
For you younger women reading this, if you find yourself frequently and inexplicably angry, if you constantly feel stressed and anxious, if you have “butterflies” in your stomach all the time, please DO SOMETHING. Don’t wait, like I did. Don’t just “endure by faith” without finding out what’s going on, don’t just assume it’s normal to feel crazy because you’re a woman, and don’t let chronic stress take its toll on your body. Take advantage of the new tests and information and technology out there to find out what’s causing you to feel emotionally unstable, irrational, crazy, frustrated, and miserable. Being female is NOT supposed to be a curse. We’re designed to be Wonder Women!