I just can’t bring myself to fritter away my minuscule clothing budget on sleepwear that leaves me shivering in my bed, too cold to climb out from under the covers in the morning. Whoever came up with the idea for skimpy, slinky nightwear must have lived in a tropical climate.
The dichotomy between the male attraction for sexy lingerie and a woman’s need for warmth and comfort first came to my attention during a ladies’ retreat. Several of the ladies were discussing how nice it was to be able to wear their comfortable jammies for a night, since it was “just us girls.”
I looked down at my plaid menswear-styled flannels. I’d picked them up on clearance for $5. They were at least three sizes too large. I rolled the waistband over three or four times just to keep them on. But they were so comfortable! (If you’ve ever watched What Not To Wear, you know the word “comfortable” is code for “needs to go in the trash bin.”)
We had three children under the age of four at the time. I spent more time out of bed at night than I did in bed. And when I bundled my babies up for those cold mountain nights I secretly wished for a pair of one-piece footie pajamas in my size.(Which I have since found! My husband calls them “leave-me-alone” pj’s.)
“I wear these,” I finally replied.
“These ARE my sexy jammies,” I murmured.
Even now, I can’t bring myself to shop for the slinky stuff. “Slipping into something more comfortable” means digging out the flannel pants, fuzzy socks, and the warmest, softest sweatshirt I can find.
Maybe when the hot flashes kick in full steam (or I get my secret wish and we move to a tropical island) I’ll be more willing to go for the spaghetti straps and shortie nightgowns, but for now, I’ll stick with my flannels and fleece.
Because who feels sexy when your lips are blue, your skin looks like gooseflesh, and the warning symptoms of hypothermia are running through your brain anyway?