I haven’t posted anything in a very long time.
I’ve been buried under deadlines, graduated my youngest from high school, and had a whirlwind of crazy things go on in the last month. None of those things are conducive to creativity, blogging, writing, or anything much beyond drinking and sleeping… not necessarily in that order.
Today I tried on a pair of pants I bought last month at a second-hand shop.
Yes, it has taken me a month to try them on. The tags were still attached.
No, they didn’t fit.
Sizes are deceptive, especially at thrift stores. Twenty years ago, at this same weight, I wore a 10. Today it’s a 6. So if you buy older clothes, the sizing is all off.
This pair of pants didn’t look old, but the size was definitely off. Maybe they were Aspenite pants…
Which brings me to the subject of sizes.
Comedienne Amy Schumer resented Glamour magazine’s cover that named her a “plus-size” person. According to Amy, she and I are the same approximate size, which makes me like her that much more.
Anyway, that makes me “plus-size,” too. At least I’m in humorous company.
Having been through a bout of anorexia myself (I just called it my skinny stage… my therapist put the anorexic label on it), I’ve come to the following conclusion: Plus Size is anything over a 0. DUH. If you are more than ZERO, you are PLUS (positive).
Deal with it.
In other body modification news, my dentist wants me to get braces.
I’d rather get a tattoo.
Mind you, my mother vetoed braces when I begged for them as a preteen.
“You can eat, can’t you?” she said.
Now my open bite, which exerts undue pressure on my molars and makes them break (and prevents me from eating a sandwich without embarrassment), is the subject of scrutiny. I even went so far as to make an appointment with my dentist’s recommended orthodontist, hoping for a recommendation of Invisalign, or some other non-intrusive option (the last dentist wanted me to have my jaw broken and wired shut for 6 weeks).
No such luck. Orthodontist’s opinion? 18 months of regular, old-fashioned braces WITH rubber bands. For $6,300.
I listened, I looked, I wasn’t convinced.
For $6,300, I’ll go get the blubber frozen off my belly.
It would have a better impact on my self-esteem… more than having braces at 45, without question.